Poem: Life Exists Here

I’ve spent so much time believing

that my life exists somewhere out there.

Somewhere better than here,

where everything I’ve ever wanted

is ready and waiting for me.

I’ve spent my whole life sitting patiently.

Bags packed and eyes wide.

For a bus that never stops,

seeking a destination that doesn’t exist.

Because my life does not exist out there.

My life exists right here

on this bus

right now.

My life exists within me

and directly around me.

My life exists in the step I take to walk out the door

and in the words I choose to express myself.

It’s in my choice of breakfast,

and whether or not I cancel that pilates class

My life is drinks on a Thursday,

and hangovers on a Friday.

It’s in choosing to wearing my nice jacket,

and not worrying whether I’ll spill something on it.

My life is the phone calls I make to my Mum in the mornings,

and the group chats I laugh to in the evening.

It’s the playlist I listen to on repeat,

and the books I read from front to back.

My life is the places I go,

and the places I miss.

It is the friends that I have made,

and the loved ones I have lost.

My life is the pictures on my wall,

and the vinyls on my player.

It is the films I return to

when my day has felt too hard,

and I need to remember a time when things didn’t feel hard before.

My life is a limited edition collection

and I it’s curator.

It is the strokes of paint on a canvas,

of which I am both artist and muse.

It is the ingredients of a recipe

to a dish that doesn’t yet exist

and will never be complete.

Because if life has taught me one thing,

it is that there will always be more life.

Even when we go,

life persists. :)

Lots of love, Ellie :)